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How do you deal with a short-tempered person?

Let's say, you are a team manager with a short-tempered team member.

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Question added by Nitin Chandran
Date Posted: 2013/09/06
Amrut Desai
by Amrut Desai , former Managing Director & Country Manager India & SriLanka , Hohenstein India Pvt Ltd-fully owned by Hohenstein Institute GmbH Germany

How do you deal with a short-tempered person?

A short tempered person is basically a difficult person to interact with especially when he or she is angry.Angry people who are also stubborn, do present a real challenge. usually so much of their self-identity is tied up in "being right," and the anger is usually an expression of fear that they would not have "control" if they had to admit being wrong.

I have learned that just say yes to whatever they say and obey their orders but, at the same time stand up for yourself and if they are completely wrong handle it for that period of time and then when they are happy or cheerful talk to them about it. but never ever back answer such people you could be in grave trouble.

In a few cases, if some one I don’t know well gets angry I try to avoid them. But if its someone I know and I have a point to make I will stay and fight though not physically  

I don't think there is just one right way to deal with bad tempered people. Over the years I have learned through experience that when I answer with kindness, compassion and grace I can easily diffuse the situation. 

I recently read this article How to handle difficult people by Deepak Chopra of Chopra Foundation. I found it very informative and useful. Following is an extract from that article. Full article can be found here:

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The path to success can be derailed by clashes with difficult people, and even if the clash isn't disastrous, it can make your life very unpleasant. Everyone has a store of coping mechanisms that we resort to when we find ourselves in stressful situations. Difficult people force us to fall back onour coping mechanisms. Some of us placate, others confront. Some balk, others become aggressive. When these first-response tactics don't work, when a difficult person makes you tear your hair out in total frustration, you have to dig deeper into yourself and find a better strategy.

First of all, not every difficult person is the same. There are tyrants, curmudgeons, aggressors, the viciously competitive, and control freaks. A psychologist can outline how each beast might be tamed, but on a day-to-day basis, one can adopt a general approach that's the same. It's quite a simple strategy, actually, based on asking three questions.

1. Can I change the situation?

2. Do I have to put up with it instead?

3. Should I just walk away?

When you ask these questions in a rational frame of mind, you will be able to formulate a workable approach that is consistent and effective. Most people are prisoners of inconsistency. Think about the most difficult person in your life and how you have reacted to them over time. You'll probably find that you sometimes put up with them, sometimes try to get them to change, and other times simply want to stay away. In other words, three tactics have merged in a messy way. You wind up sending mixed messages, and that's never effective.

Read on…… in the main article

 

 

asi ngoh
by asi ngoh , auditor , management consulting audit

i am always careful when discoursing with them so as not to give any room for an agurment

SIVADASAN PANTHEERADI
by SIVADASAN PANTHEERADI , Sr ADMN ( Actively looking for a NEW JOB) , DYNCORP INTERNATIONAL LLC (US COMPANY)

Listen him and try to understand his charactor

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